Childcare Cooperatives
A childcare cooperative is a group of parents who take turns watching each other's children. Instead of paying for babysitters, nannys, preschools, and after school programs, parents in a childcare cooperative provide free childcare for each other. And childcare cooperatives aren't just about saving money – they create opportunities for parents and children to develop friendships and connections that can last a lifetime.
Here's How They Work
Get together a group of parents – usually between 2 and 4 parents works best. In this article, we will share some helpful suggestions for forming a group.
Create a set of shared agreements about what kind of care you will all provide. We're all very protective of our children, so it's essential that everyone agrees about what is okay and not okay for the kids.
Set your group's schedule in advance, and commit to that schedule. A consistent schedule is essential when it comes to making sure you're kids are cared for while you're at work or taking care of important chores.
Forming a Group
It takes time and effort to bring together a group of interested, compatible, and available parents to form a childcare cooperative. Most parents who really need this kind of help are already too busy, so adding another thing to do can be daunting. We've created these suggestions to help streamline the process. In the long run, the effort that you put in to forming your group will come back to you double when you're off by yourself, enjoying some precious alone-time, free of charge.
If you are friends with other parents, start by getting together for a shared meal. Then, use the suggestions below to figure out the specifics. If you don't know other parents, or your needs and schedules don't match with the parents you know, then you can connect with new households. But first, it's helpful to think about your parenting values, so that you can connect with compatible people.
What Are Your Parenting Values?
Here are some examples of parenting values for you to think about:
Religion
Screen time (television, internet, phone)
Nutrition
Smoking
Drugs and alcohol
Safety and risk-taking during activities (i.e. outdoor play, urban environments)
Your child's specific needs (allergies, medical needs, etc.)
Background checks and/or references
What did we forget to include in the list of values suggestions? We recommend that you write your own list of your specific parenting values. Writing them down helps you to think clearly and thoroughly so that you can talk about your values with other parents as you are forming your group. Try not to assume that other people share your same values. Instead, get to know your own values, and then talk about them with potential childcare cooperative parents.
Connecting With New Households
Join parenting groups and playgroups on Facebook, Meetup.com, or MOPS. Go to a parenting group meeting to see if it feels compatible with your values.
Create your own parenting group if there isn't one near you, or you don't like the ones you find. Now that you know what your values are, you can put those in the description of your group and meet people who like what you are sharing.
After you've spent some time with a group, reach out to specific members and invite them to meet with you, one-on-one. Playdates in safe public spaces are a great way to do this. If you feel good about your connection, invite that person into a conversation about your childcare cooperative. Get their email address and share this blog post with them so they can spend some time on their own thinking about the idea.
A childcare cooperative can work well with just two parents. That's the least complicated arrangement. I watch your kids on Monday evenings while you spend time with friends, and you watch my kid on Sunday afternoons so I can take a nap. When you add more parents and children to the group, things get a bit more complicated, but it also makes more free time available for each parent. It really depends on the ages of the children and their individual needs and temperaments, but in general one parent may be able to watch three other children, plus their own, for a few hours without too much drama. That means that a general maximum size for a group is about four children. It's important to figure that out as your group forms.
After you've connected personally and individually with enough compatible, interested parents, invite them all to share a meal together. You can make it a potluck or meet at a restaurant. At your first group meeting, don't try to get very much done. It's just an opportunity for everyone to meet and casually discuss the idea of forming a childcare cooperative.
Before everyone goes home, schedule your first planning meeting. Invite your group of parents to consider the idea of paying a babysitter or two (depending on the size of your group) to watch the kids at your planning meeting. When a group of parents shares the cost of a sitter, it's much less expensive.
Your First Planning Meeting
It works well to have your planning meetings in the homes of the parents in the group. Each parent may want to personally visit the homes of each other parent, to make sure they like the space where their child will be spending time.
If your group has chosen to hire a babysitter for your planning meeting, the sitter and the children can just hang out in another room – there's no need for the meeting to happen at a different location. That way, the parents can focus on the meeting, but the sitter can always bring in a crying child for some love if it's needed.
You may or may not finish your planning process at your first meeting, and that's okay. Just use your time to do what you can. If you don't finish, just schedule another meeting. Groups can usually get started after one or two meetings.
Here are some suggestions for what to cover during your planning meetings:
Your shared values – write them down. Sometimes, during a meeting, parents will discover that their values are not compatible. That's okay. Without judgement, you can say, "Our values aren't compatible, so I think we shouldn't be in a group together. Let's form two groups instead." If everyone in your group has read this article, then it will be easier to have that conversation if it comes up.
Your scheduling needs. This is often the most complicated and cumbersome part of the planning process. Stick with it! Sometimes, as with shared values, a group finds that their scheduling needs are not compatible. If you can't get your schedules to synchronize, then it works to split into two groups, find new members, and continue the forming process until you all get your needs met. Usually, it works best if you can figure out a very consistent, regular schedule. For example, on Tuesdays from 4-6 p.m., all the kids go to Fionna's house, and on Wednesdays from 5-7 p.m. all the kids go Gabriel's house, etc. However, if everyone is willing and able to communicate, you may be able to set up a more flexible arrangement, where parents can take kids on a more as-needed, on-call basis. We recommend the more fixed schedule to start, but in any case, you've got to figure out your scheduling needs.
Set up your communication and feedback. Will you use group text messages, email, phone calls? Also, it's good to schedule a group meeting, with a shared meal, about a month after you all start working together. During that meeting, talk about what is working and what isn't, so that you can learn from each other and improve your group dynamics.
COMMIT! This doesn't work unless every parent is committed and consistent. Establish at the beginning that if a parent repeatedly fails to follow through on their commitments, the other members of the group will decide not to include them in their future scheduling.
Agree not to gossip or create drama. Gossip is talking negatively about one parent with another parent. If you have feedback, talk directly and openly with the person about it, or wait to bring it to a group meeting. Gossip never helps anyone, and it can turn a good group sour very quickly.
Ready, set, go! You are ready to start your childcare cooperative.
Share Your Stories
Once you've got your childcare cooperative up and running, we invite you to share your stories on the Middleway Community, our ad-free Facebook alternative. Click here to share your story.
Middleway Network is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to supporting free wellness resources. When you use our suggestions to form a childcare cooperative, and then you share your stories about it, you are contributing to a resource that others can learn from. We want to know about what works for you, and what doesn't.
Humboldt Parent Hive is a childcare cooperative and workshare space that was inspired by the Middleway Network and is now a project of Cooperation Humboldt. This group of amazing parents not only shares childcare, they've also created a workspace for parents to get things done while their children play in the other room. Click here to learn more.